What a x'mas!

This year, x'mas is exceptionally quiet and lonely for me. I did not heed the best advice given to me this season. I threw an ultimatum. Sigh!!! I will not and should not feel regret. I hope.

Not having any boozing session for this festive season seem sort of not right. Especially in my current situation. Why am I still hoping there will be any form of changes? If it's my life, why am I not in control? All I wanted for x'mas is a good dinner with someone special. No need for present. ( but secretly I hope there is). Sometime I wonder if I ask for too much. Someone once told me, give and don't ask. Does it exist? Why can't we give and have something in return too?

Lord, I seek ur guidance and wisdom. Merry merrily x'mas to me.

Ps: I just order a bottle of red wine to cheer myself up.

random thoughts...

i always envy the characters in sex and the city. i envy their personal character, their lifestyle, their friendships. i wanted to be like carrie so much. so full of confident, so full of ny city. i watch the movie many times. time and time again, i imagine myself to be like her, live her lifestyles.

On my way to work

How often do you see people wearing luminious yellow these days? I saw not one but two people and sitting side by side. They definately brighten up my day. ~haha~ And afew seats away there's this man using identical luminious yellow iphone casing. Such a cheerful day!

Sometime just a small innocent gesture or decision from a stranger can influence someone elses mood. Recently, the ex-husband of a not so close friend e-mail me from facebook after reading her post and my comment. He sounded upset with me in his mail and hence a big, fat question mark balloon up in my head. He started pouring out bits of details and i found myself giving him some consolation. Men are actually another version of women. Men do not seek advice from their male counterpart and rather in a woman even though she may be a complete stranger. I wonder maybe in confiding a stranger, she will be unlikely to make judgement.

Women may be the best mate in bed but no doubt also a good mate when giving relationship advice to men. May my this stranger friend found peace in my words. I will not wear luminious yellow though. Cheers!

Hi! I'm a relatively happy person. neither happy nor sad about my life. Does that make me a dis-contended or very contended person? Sometime i wonder...

I give alot to others not just my love one but on what gauge am i to say its enough or not? Pondering now... Ermm...

All i ever want is a dog, i got it. All i ever want is a gucci bag, i got it. ( i bought them on my own). But there seem to be more that i want years by years. If i never want more. will i be happier? When you have what you want, will you give it up?

Anyway, today i went drinking by the river alone. My handphone went low battery but i'm always prepare with a travel charger hoping that some nice waiter will allow me to charge my phone in their bar. How pathetic can that be? Our happiness is as long as our handphone battery can last. Worst if you forget to bring it out. Your day can be as blue as it can be. No best sashimi in the world can brighten it up.

After charging my handphone for almost half an hour, i decided that i should head home since i can't have access to my handphone while its being charge inside the bar and the time seem to be floating by. Now i'm home sweet home having access to my computer. Even better!